take-aways from an unsuspected, elongated medical diagnosis.
I was recently diagnosed with an abscess in my liver. No, that doesn’t mean my liver has abs now. It’s like a small cyst on top of the liver wall which is wreaking havoc on my diaphragm and hence my lungs, causing me incessant cough. It was obvious to the doctors that the cause of my cough is the liver, and a rather unpleasant surprise for me to understand how everything in the body is connected. Our bodies are beautiful, complicated systems; it’s unreal how it all just works. And no, this is not because of alcohol consumption, it’s in no way related to that. It’s a food/water-borne infection and one unfortunate day I was chosen by the bacterial distribution system. Here are some thoughts I have as I continue to fight my tiny little physical battle.
- When you are sick you have tremendous selective attention.
Have you ever thought of or bought a new car, and then everywhere on the streets you just notice that particular car? That’s because of your selective attention (technically called the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon, also known as the frequency illusion). When you are sick out of your wits, something similar happens. Now whenever I see a stranger on the street or even a loved one, the only thing I think about is their liver and how fine it is for them. "Ah, his liver must be alright" - I think as I look at a hawker from my window.
I started associating everything in life with my liver and its well-being. My life is now divided into two parts:
BC: Before Cyst
AD: After Discharge (from hospital)
Selective attention takes a mental toll on the patient, the secret to dealing with it is in the next point!
- People are the medicines
Physical pain from sickness is one thing, that can be subsided with the trillion IVs, medicines, anesthesias, opium that humans with fancy education in white coats and a stethoscope around their necks give you in the 5 minutes of consultation time. The real, uphill challenge is when you have to fight the mental battle of being confined in a room for days, with not much to do, and getting shot with needles every 45 minutes. I can confirm that I would’ve been depressed if not for the people around me. Knowing my condition, my entire extended family started visiting me in the hospital, my friends stayed with me for hours giving me company, my friends/cousins in different countries/cities poured in with wishes through calls and texts. My parents and close family were doing everything in their power to just make sure I am not too much at discomfort, I can’t talk about the lengths they went to. I am so grateful for everyone who took a minute and asked/cared about me. Hey reader, if you have someone you remotely know going through anything remotely medically related, please call or text them. It takes a few seconds but it goes a long, long way for the one who is medically ill.
- YOLO and kindness
When you are sick (and you know it’s temporary), you learn that this can happen to anyone at any time and it can turn their world upside down. Sickness is a brilliant reminder of how temporary “okay” is. Sure you are okay right now, but tomorrow? We don’t know. This is in no way to look at life in a depressing way, but rather: “sure you are okay right now, but tomorrow? We don’t know. HENCE, WE SHOULD MAKE THE MOST OF TODAY”. I have planned a gazillion projects to pursue, things to do, life to live after my physical battles end. This makes me think why did I hold back at all in the first place? Being fit is a blessing that one seldom appreciates, we all should do it more, because YOLO, right! This also extends to the fact that we must be kinder - to everyone we know, to ourselves too. The world in itself is full of pain and misery, the best we can do is bring the pain down for others. The person you dislike today can be suffering through a really painful physical ordeal against their wishes, the least one can do is show them kindness!
take care of your and your loved one's health! that's all here, go for a run or drink water or something. fin.